The Divorce Cancer

Marriage and divorce rates in the US, 1990-200...

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Divorce is a cancer on the soul of families that metastises in the hearts of children. It robs joy, consumes laughter and suffocates dreams.

I know. I’ve seen it in the face of my little girl.

A joyful glow used to radiate from her face; now it’s gone and it hurts me deeply. Moreover, the geographic chasm between us as she resides with her mother in a different state is difficult for me to bear and is having impacts on her life, particularly in school.

The Bible talks about when a man and woman come together in marriage that they become “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24)

A note in the NLT Study Bible, published by Tyndale House Publishers, describes biblical marriage this way: “Married love is… a binding covenant commitment before God. Breaching that covenant (e.g. through adultery) is a crime against persons and against God, who is a define witness to and the guarantor of the marriage covenant (see Mal 2:10-16; cp. Gen 39:6-9; Jer 3:1; 1 Cor 6:9-10; Heb 13:4).” A second footnote goes on to read: “Marriage is a powerful image of Israel’s covenant with God and of Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph 5:22-32). Marriage is designed as an inseparable, exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. The family unit it creates is the basic building block of human society.”

I’ve heard marriage described not as a contract, but a covenant. There’s a distinction. A contract can be broken if terms of the agreement are not adhered to by one party. The covenant of marriage is a mysterious binding of two individuals — a man and a woman — into one. When that bond is severed through divorce, it’s as if the “one” was physically torn in two as if the human body were torn in two, but not neatly along a pre-described line as in a piece of perforated paper. The pain involved in that tearing or severing is severe and even impacts the child in ways I’m sure most people will never fully understand.

A friend of mine who admitted to an affair was able to heal his relationship with his wife and today they remain married. I think he has a taste, after stepping back from the brink of divorce, how it can negatively impact the family. So for him, though I’m not happy with his decision to cheat on his wife, violate God’s Word and nearly destroy his family, I’m hopeful that his glimpse into this will help him as he and his wife seek to counsel other couples looking to divorce as a solution to their problems.


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