The challenges of divorced fatherhood

In 2008 it was Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Cinderella” that forced me to pull over while driving and had me in a contemplative mood for a long time. In a sense it still does. More recently it was the release of Casting Crowns’ new CD “The Well,” and the song “Just Another Birthday” that once again rubs against the wound of family fractured and vows forsaken.

The song paints a picture of the life of a young girl as she transitions from teenager to young mom while lamenting the absence of her biological father from her life.

Inspired by Psalm 68:5 and James 1:27, Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns writes in the CD jacket:

This isn’t a song about a girl. This is a song about hundreds of girls that Melanie (Mark Hall’s wife) and I have seen come through our student ministries over the years. This song is a wake-up call to fathers to love their daughters and a message of hope to orphans, spiritual and physical, that God is the Father to the fatherless.

Beautifully sung by Megan Garrett, the story starts with a 16-year-old girl who would much rather have her daddy with her to celebrate her birthday than the gift-wrapped excuses and flowers he sent in his stead.

Parents truthful to themselves and others will admit that raising children is not easy; their job is difficult but so very rewarding. Divorce doesn’t make it any easier, what with visitation schedules, child support and the physical chasm that geography creates when these fractured families live in different states.


4 thoughts on “The challenges of divorced fatherhood

  1. Pingback: The challenges of divorced fatherhood | Kids say :

  2. “Divorce doesn’t make it any easier, what with visitation schedules, child support and the physical chasm that geography creates”

    Divorce is not the problem. Divorce is a SYMPTOM of the problem. The PROBLEM is that we humans are sinful and separated from God. Jesus, the Son of God who died on the cross for our sins is the ONLY solution to the selfish human heart. A relationship with God through Jesus Christ is the only way to transform and conform our will to God’s perfect will. The power of the Holy Spirit will gradually mold a person into a completely different creature.

    There are many non-custodial parents who may enjoy the fact that they get their freedom, peace and quiet the majority of the time because the day-to-day burden of raising their child is bourne by the custodial parent. Certainly some non-custodial parents wish they could see their children more, but probably not all.

    In the Casting Crowns song, why was the father absent? Did his visitation schedule did not permit him to visit his daughter on her birthday? Unlikely. Visitation schedules usually allow non-custodial parents to visit on their child’s birthday even if the birthday falls on a day that does not include their regularly scheduled visitation time. Therefore, the girl’s father was absent because he CHOSE to be. Clearly, if the father sent his daughter flowers, he knows where she lives.

    Todd, I know you have said that there are no jobs in the state your daughter lives in but if I lost custody of my daughter and she went to live with her father thousands of miles away, I would do ANYTHING to be with her. I would get any job I could and I would rent a room from my child’s other parent or find a roommate. I would not let my child live across the country without me. I would sacrifice whatever I needed to so that I could be there for my child.

  3. Todd, have you ever seen the discussion on There are a lot of angry men on there (anger is a very understandable reaction to being poorly treated), but there are also some really intelligent, thought-provoking men who have a lot to say about why they think their marriages ended. The posts about how the feminist movement has hurt women and marriage are fascinating.

  4. Pingback: “Just another birthday” revisited « PointMan

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