If I’m going to keep with the theme of this blog then it’s important to note that my previous post on the ambivalent bad boy drew some comments and discussions that caused me to review my perspective and do a little more reading and discovery.
One commenter wrote: “Women want MEN. Decisive, masculine, MEN, and sometimes bad boys are much more masculine than nice wimps. Sometimes bad boys are leaders and nice guys are boring followers.”
I’ve seen both in the church and, if this woman is correct, then there’s little wonder then why the attractive, single woman that some guys are afraid to approach for a date just showed up with “bad boy” in tow. Even though his only excuse to darken the door of the church is the attractive woman who invited him to church, the fact (if my friend is right) remains, that he asked her first!
While I’m not condoning what one friend likes to call “missionary dating,” that is, dragging your date to church in hopes of converting that person, it’s still understandable when “pretty girl” shows up with “bad boy,” even if his motives aren’t all that laudable.
I was thinking about this after greeting someone recently with a handshake. His handshake said a lot. For descriptive purposes I’ve heard it called the “dead-fish handshake.”
As guys you’ve been there. The handshake you expect to be somewhat firm turns out to have the strength of a day-old kitten and is somewhat creepy in its lack of decisiveness.
While this isn’t an exposé or dissertation on handshakes as it relates to masculinity, I think the comparison can be made. I made a quick assessment about another person based in large part to how he greeted me with his handshake. It painted a picture of an indecisive follower. I think that’s the point my friend is trying to make. Even as it pertains to the realm of Christians and dating, while following God is vital, there’s still much to be said about men being decisive and taking the lead. Women apparently find it attractive.
So, if Christian women are saying that they seek decisive leaders, then it may be important to discover how to do that in light of everything else out there that God encourages us to be. There are some great resources out there, including God’s own Word (The Bible), that can help us be better people and improve the relationships we seek.
Time to put it into practice!