When ‘just talking’ turns dangerous


It’s no secret that the dating scene is much different today than it was decades ago. Even when I was growing up it was dramatically different from the days of my father, when courting a girl meant requesting permission from her father before the courtship began.

Right or wrong, or who’s fault it is for the changes, makes no real difference in the underlying premise in an article I found quite interesting.

JD Gunter writes in “We’re Just ‘Talking’,” about the ambiguous intentions of college-age men when it comes to dating. No wonder there’s such a pervasive confusion among young women today. But that’s not my point. Gunter did an excellent job of laying out his argument. I’m here to perhaps suggest it has wider ramifications.

“Just talking” can be quite dangerous for the married man, or even the single man who happens upon the married woman eager or perhaps simply willing to listen to his story and carry on a conversation.

For the married man, sharing anything of personal note with another man’s wife should be verboten! That’s what your wife is for buddy.

For the single guy this become a bit more dicey in that it may be your intent to simply gather some intelligence or advice, but — as Gunter’s article suggests — your intentions need to be clear and should probably include her husband in the conversation out of an abundance of caution. Not that it always leads to something inappropriate, but that’s where inappropriate relationships and affairs start.

We can learn much through our conversations with others, including the art of communicating. Sadly, and this is a point for another discussion, we don’t know how to communicate anymore because technology has replaced verbal communication, relationship and community.


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